


It's Either the Beginning or the Ending

by anarchycox



Series: Missing: Four Demons (If Found Return to Hell) [12]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Domestic, M/M, Nightmares, Watching bad movies, confession of feelings, showers together, soft conversations, taking care of someone you love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-29 00:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Demon Merlin against the advice of Eggsy watches a zombie movie, and everything between them changes.





	It's Either the Beginning or the Ending

Eggsy was happy, and at a bit of a loss. Merlin wasn’t home. And he wasn’t going to be home all bloody night. Almost two years with his demon now, and they had spent maybe 3 nights apart, since they have become proper friends. But he was spending the night at Harry’s, because Harry was trying to sort his feelings for Percival.

Eggsy thought about pointing out that Merlin maybe not the best option for feelings sorting, since the bloke hadn’t exactly been able to sort through how he felt about Eggsy, but he had sent the man off for his demon bitch about loving humans night.

Not that Merlin loved him. Like how Harry loved Percival. It was a platonic, familial love, Eggsy and Merlin. Bros. That’s what they were, bros. Like he and Jamal.

But not.

Fuck, he could have all of time, and not figure out what he and Merlin were. Merlin bought flowers for the house, said things like they reminded him of Eggsy. And there were candles on takeaway night. Eggsy went to bloody church rummage sales to look for the few ancient mills and boon books in a series that Merlin wanted to finish. And frankly it was annoying the way churches smelled and called to him, tried to entice him away. Bloody stained glass smiled at him once, he thought it was Michael. He flipped it off. No thank you, he was quite happy with his demon, angels were clearly fucking tossers if they didn’t know what they had when they had Harry and Merlin.

All that meant more than bros, or flatmates, or whatever the fuck they were.

They looked at each other like they were more. Eggsy knew he looked at Merlin like Merlin was everything.

Because he was.

But Eggsy had actually measured a person himself today, and he was exhausted from wanting to get that right. Sure it was Percival, and they had all his info on file, but still, it was another step forward from job to career and that was fucking terrifying. He grabbed a beer and decided to watch the sort of movie that he couldn’t while Merlin was home. Something with a bit of blood and horror.

It was the most confusing thing of all - how squeamish hell’s chief torturer was.

He flipped through Netflix and was torn. Shaun of the Dead, or Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. But Merlin had been on a historical romance kick again and Eggsy wasn’t going to complain about men in breeches.

He decided he wanted popcorn, so he got up and made some. He was just putting it in a bowl when he heard the door open. “Hiya?” he shouted.

“Harry is an idiot.”

“Ahh,” Eggsy should have known. “How bad?”

“Tonight was due to his second form and what he has to do, to stay above, he can never approach Percival. It wouldn’t be fair to the man that every once in a while he has to put on a completely different form and shag some bloke.”

“Wouldn’t he get enough fucking from Percival?” Eggsy had seen the way Percival looked at Harry - that man wanted to eat the demon alive.

“Apparently that could corrupt him? I don’t know, Harry was in full Harry mode, and whenever I offered advice he said how good could it actually be, since I wasn’t taking it myself. I had no clue what he was on about, so I left.”

Eggsy thought maybe he knew what Harry was on about. Harry probably got sick of Eggsy talking about how great Merlin was when they were sewing together. “Was he mean to you, baby?” Merlin was pouting just a little.

“Terse,” Merlin said. “I was just trying to help. He should be happy. Percival would make him happy. I have read many romance novels that are playing out like them. Well not the sex demon bit, though actually many are metaphoric sex demons. In this one -”

“Focus,” Eggsy said gently.

“They need to just shut up, and tell each other they are in love, and want to do all that happy ever after stuff!” Merlin growled. “Why aren’t they?”

Eggsy hugged him. “Because sometimes when a demon and a human fall in love it is really fucking complicated.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It is,” Eggsy agreed. “But they’ll get there.”

“His dick brought down the library at Alexandria, he should be able to tell one mild mannered, good hearted, Jewish lawyer that he loves him.”

“About that babe, Alexandria didn’t burn like we all think. I did some research and -”

“Shhhhh, I know, we all know, but he’s really proud of that. And I mean he shagged this one man, and put an idea in his head, and it started the descent of the empire. And his dick really did cause the French Revolution.”

“That one I buy,” Eggsy agreed. He gave Merlin an extra squeeze. “But you want me to yell at Harry, for being terse? He shouldn’t be terse to my demon.”

“I’ve known him since before time existed, terse means he will crack soon. It is fine.”

“I’ll hide his favourite measuring tape tomorrow.” Eggsy melted a little at the way Merlin beamed at him. “Now, I was going to watch a movie.”

“I’ll join you.”

“No, baby, it is Pride and Prejudice and -”

“Excellent! Not my favourite that is Persuasion, but I could use some Darcy and Lizzie. Which adaptation?” Merlin was already headed to the living room.

Fuck. Bugger and Fuck.

“Merlin, do not hit play!” Eggsy hurried after him, but he had already begun the video. “Merlin, baby, the movie is not for you.”

“Are you watching a pornographic version of it? You usually watch porn on my Macbook and forget to clear your history,” Merlin was watching the screen. “I am intrigued, the breeches are probably not historically accurate.”

“My Macbook, and no, you wanker, I’m not watching porn on the big telly.”

“Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?” Merlin looked at Eggsy. “I don’t know this version.”

“Zombies, baby. Please, let’s just play Fifa. Or watch that Schitt’s Creek show, you like Patrick and David.”

“No, no, I have seen every version of Pride and Prejudice, I want to see this adaptation too.”

“Merlin, it will have fighting and blood, and fucking zombies.”

Merlin’s face was a portrait of horror. “There will be zombies fucking in it?”

“No, I just meant. Here, how about Moana?”

“I don’t like that one, they turned the god from a pretty fire being back into flowers and grass.”

“Merlin, I am ordering you not to watch this movie!” Oh, that was maybe the wrong thing to say. “I just mean -”

“That you, a human, are ordering me, one of the strongest creatures ever born to this universe to not watch a ninety minute movie?” Merlin’s wings shadowed the walls, and he seemed to fill the space. “You would dare?”

“You know what, yeah I fucking dare. You won’t like it, and if you watch it with me, fine, then I wash my hands of it, and you can cope with how it fucks you up alone. Don’t be pulling that evil demon shit with me, Merlin.” Eggsy crossed his arms and glared at him. “Don’t fucking watch this movie with me.”

“I’m watching it.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“You want popcorn make your own.” Eggsy held the bowl close, and started munching down. They watched the movie and Eggsy ignored the way that Merlin squirmed, and covered his eyes. He deserved it, if he had just listened to Eggsy, they could have had a nice night. But nope, he came home all worked up because of Harry, and made a stupid decision, and now he could live with it. Oh but this was getting a bit gory, not like full horror movie zombie gory but still, Merlin was really getting upset. “How about we -”

“No, I will see this to the end, to see how this adequate Lizzie and dreadful Darcy work it all out. The only good interpretation in this is the Mr. Collins, that is actually quite well done.”

“Matt Smith don’t suck,” Eggsy agreed. He moved a bit down the couch and rested his ankle against Merlin’s. At the end of the movie, they were quiet. “Well, that movie was garbage.”

“Yes it was. Goodnight, Eggsy.” 

Eggsy waited, and heard the shower go on. He picked up his phone and his finger almost broke the screen it hit Harry’s number so hard. “I’m mad at you,” he said when Harry picked up.

“What did I do?” Harry almost sounded calm, but Eggsy knew him, knew there was an undercurrent there.

“You made it so Merlin came home, and in a mood, and I couldn’t not get him to watch a zombie movie.”

“Bugger,” Harry groaned. “I am sorry, Eggsy. And I will apologize to him tomorrow. It is just all so confusing, this situation with Percival.”

Eggsy was done. “No, it fucking isn’t. You fucking love that gorgeous and kind man, and you need to tell him that. Because he loves you too. And you two need to go on a proper date, not this he brings you coffee when he buys another shirt he does not need, just to bloody see you. Admit you love him, and just deal with your shit.”

“And you are one to talk?”

“We are not dealing with me right now, one fucking mess at a time. And actually we are dealing with two. Your stupid heart, and the fact that MERLIN WATCHED A SORT OF HORROR MOVIE. Which takes priority for me, because I love you Harry, but it ain’t got nothing on what I feel for him.” Eggsy sighed. “Harry, just ask Percival out.”

“I can’t.”

“A real reason Harry, a true one, about why you can’t, or I hang up and deal with my demon.”

“Because if he hurts me, it will destroy me. In a way Chester never could.” Harry’s voice caught on a sob. “I read that situation completely wrong, what if I am reading this wrong?”

“Oh,” Eggsy fell to the couch from where he had been pacing. Why hadn’t they ever put that particular piece together? “Harry, they are very different men.”

“I know, I do.”

“But you spent a couple decades being abused horribly and sometimes you think about that? And your brain and heart are all muddled up about this?” Eggsy wished he could hug Harry. “Do you need us to come over?”

“No, Merlin is going to be a wreck, getting him to leave the house again would be a mistake. I do like him a great deal, Eggsy.”

“You know there is one key difference between Chester and Percival that I want you to think about, yeah?”

“And what is that?”

“Absolutely fucking everything about them.” Eggsy enjoyed the way Harry snorted a bit. “Chester was imprisonment and abuse, and neglect Harry. I know people, and trust me, Percival is the opposite of that.” Eggsy couldn’t believe what he was about to offer, but his demons needed so much looking after. “Okay, look, you ask him out, I’ll come along as a chaperone.”

“You will not.”

“Yeah, I will. Just to make sure everything goes okay, and like kosher and stuff.”

“That is absurd.”

“But it makes you feel better about the possibility of a date?” Eggsy waited, the shower was still running.

“It does.”

“Okay then. Now, you go have a nice bath with a glass of wine, and then film a nice wank sess, and get a good night’s sleep.”

“Yes, Mum.”

“Night, Harry.” Eggsy hung up, and the shower was still going. Well, shit. He trudged upstairs. “Merlin?”

“I’m fine,” Merlin replied. The water turned off. “Really, I’m just upset at the lack of chemistry between the leads.”

“You sure?”

“Of course I am, what else could it be?”

“Merlin?”

“Thank you, Eggsy, goodnight.”

Things were worse than he expected, but not like Merlin would let him do anything right now. “Going to take JB for his last walk.”

“Have fun!”

Yeah, that sounded way too cheerful. “How about you read a bit of a Courtney Milan book before bed?” Eggsy suggested, but there was no answer. Fuck, but tonight was going to be an epic mess. He took JB for a walk, but didn’t linger. When he got home, the house was silent, only the kitchen lights on. “Merlin?” he called softly, but there was no response.

He went and had a quick, cold, shower to perk up a bit and made himself coffee. He never had caffeine after 10 like it was now, but he needed to stay awake. He drank coffee, and played Fifa, and any time his head started to tilt he forced himself up. He even did jumping jacks. Eggsy slept too deeply these days, secure in his home with Merlin. He had lost the skill of hearing every noise and bolting awake, to dodge Dean’s fists. He wouldn’t hear Merlin when Merlin needed him, if he was asleep.

It was 1am and fuck but Eggsy had settled into a domestic life, used to be a time 1am he was just getting going. He was going to be paying for this for days. And then he heard the first muffled noise, a stifled shout, and he was running. Eggsy took the stairs two at a time and didn’t bother knocking. “Merlin, baby, I’m here.”

Merlin was sitting up, shivering. Eggsy went over and turned his lamp on, knocking over a stack of romance novels as he did so. The pillow and sheets were soaked. Merlin was soaked. “I’ve done far worse at work,” he managed to say. 

Eggsy knelt in front of him, cupped a cheek that was drenched in sweat. “This ain’t work, baby, this is your home. And it isn’t...you are on holiday yeah? You don’t ask an accountant to file taxes on vacation, or a surgeon to cut when she is on her fourth mai tai on the beach. You are on sabbatical, and it is okay to not want blood and guts. You can stick with happy ever afters, Merlin. No one is asking you to want more that.”

“I just keep seeing the scenes in the movie, and thinking about home, and I don’t want that here.” Merlin closed his eyes but snapped them open again. “Would you like to know what I did to Mr. Havens who killed his wife and brother when he thought they were having an affair and were just planning a surprise birthday party?”

“No, baby, I wouldn’t.”

“I can’t stop thinking Eggsy. I can’t stop seeing...everything.” His eyes were black and the outline of his horns were visible. “Why do I fight it so much? It is a farce, everything I do up here. Play acting. I should just -”

“No, whatever you were about to say is just a no. What you need to do is have a shower, because that is a lot of sweat.”

“It is difficult to move the form's legs. Do you know who created nightmares?”

“Someone in the invention wing, I would guess.” Eggsy helped Merlin stand, and almost carried him to the bathroom.

“No, Raphael did,” Merlin said. Eggsy leaned him against the counter and put the water on lukewarm. “Because if humans have nightmares, they’ll pray to god when they wake to keep them safe. He was such a son of a bitch.” Merlin laughed. “We created dreams, the happy ones. What people do, for those intangible thoughts? What lengths they go to for what they call a dream? That has sustained us many an era.”

Eggsy began to strip off his clothes, and once naked, he knelt and took off the trackies that Merlin slept. He was so close to Merlin’s cock, but barely cared. “Come on, baby.” He helped Merlin into the shower, and stood next to him under the spray. He grabbed a flannel, and soaped it up. He was whisper gentle as he cleaned Merlin off. Eggsy sang a few Disney songs as he did so, happy things, sweet things. He warmed up the water a bit as he saw the tension begin to leave Merlin, his eyes back to their normal swirling, the shadow of horns gone.

“People can be lots of different things yeah? I was a would be thug, and now I’m an apprentice tailor. I used to love getting in fights, and now, I am terrified I’d hurt my hands and not be able to work. I can love shitty action movies, and Audrey Hepburn at the same time.”

“It is different. You aren’t wearing a human form, you created from the atoms in between heaven and hell.”

“No, I’m from the DNA and of Lee and Michelle Unwin,” Eggsy said. He looked up at Merlin. “But I make choices every day. What makes us human, the choices we make, right? That’s what shapes our world, our souls?” Merlin nodded. “You know what I see every day? You making choices too. Seems pretty fucking, human, baby, making a wrong choice that you know will hurt you.”

“You wanted to watch it. It had Pride and Prejudice. I thought it would be okay, and then we got snippy, and I thought fine then, it would be fine. And it wasn’t fine.” Merlin closed his eyes, let the spray hit his face for a moment. 

“Come on, baby,” Eggsy turned off the water, and dried them both off. Merlin smiled and started to head back to his room. “No, those sheets are soaked and you know you are going to be a wreck. Go crawl into my bed, while I strip yours down.”

“I can sleep on the couch.”

“I’ve been up all night, and I am tired, Merlin. Get the fuck in my bed, so that I can cuddle you to make sure you don’t have another fucking nightmare.” Eggsy glared at him, and pointed to his room. They both stood there, naked, and looking each other in the eye.

“I crawl into your bed, it changes things,” Merlin said.

“Then maybe it is time they change,” Eggsy responded. He went to Merlin’s room and stripped the sheet, tossed the sheets onto the chair, they could be dealt with tomorrow. He went back to his room, and Merlin was in the bed. “You want something to sleep in?” Merlin shook his head no.

Eggsy shrugged and crawled into bed, naked, just as Merlin was. They lay a bit apart, stared at each other. “It was a shit movie,” Eggsy offered.

“It was,” Merlin agreed. “For so many reasons.” He was watching Eggsy, and Eggsy waited. He knew Merlin was going to say something important, or ask something that was almost impossible to answer. He always got this line between his eyes, when he was going to do so. “What if all this, has just been me faking it? What if all I am is emptiness or guts on the floor as people scream?”

“Merlin,” Eggsy took a deep breath. “That is just fucking 2am after a bad movie talking, and I am too tired for that bullshit.”

“But -”

“Do you love Daisy?”

“I am not -”

“Do you fucking love Daisy?” Eggsy growled.

“So much,” Merlin whispered.

“Do you love Harry?”

“What I feel for him, is...love is one component of it.”

“Yeah, bet you two are a complex ball of emotions. But it is eternal, and that is something that fills me with awe, baby. Do you love JB?”

“Not when he eats my socks,” Merlin replied and there was an honest smile.

“You have friends, and a life, and preferences, and joy. Merlin, you are weird and so often say creepy things, and yeah, you are a demon, but you have heart and joy and a soul, even if it works a bit differently. You are so fucking full, baby, no matter what skin you are showing, okay?” Eggsy reached out and took Merlin’s hand. “Don’t diminish yourself. And no more movies with swords.”

“Errol Flynn. He is quite dashing, and was always very polite when I worked on him.”

“Wait, why is Errol Flynn in your division?”

“You ever heard the saying ‘In like Flynn’?”

“Maybe, from an old bloke in the neighbourhood?” Eggsy thought it rang a faint bell.

“It was in reference to his way with women. Some of those women were not necessarily of a legal age.”

“Ew.”

“Indeed. But his Captain Blood is enjoyable.”

“Okay, Britishy sword movies from what the 30s and 40s are back on the acceptable list. Wanna watch Crazy Rich Asians tomorrow night?”

“Oh, yes please,” Merlin was happy at that idea, and that made Eggsy happy. Silence enveloped the room, as they just stared at each other. “Did you stay up in case I had a nightmare?”

“Maybe," Eggsy answered.

“Eggsy, why didn’t you ask how I felt about you?”

Eggsy closed his eyes. “Because I think I know the answer.”

“Do you?”

Eggsy scooted closer until their chests were touching, and Merlin’s arms were wrapped around him. “I do.”

“How?”

“Because I know how I look at you, and what I am thinking of when I do. And sometimes, in a mirror, through the glass of the shop window, you look at me the same way. That look means one really specific thing.” Eggsy kissed Merlin’s sternum. “Merlin? 

“Yes?”

“Is your heart also made of the atoms between heaven and hell?”

“No, it is made of you.”

They were quiet for a moment. “You did mean that in an emotional sense right? And not like a creepy you stole a piece of my blood or skin and grew a heart right?”

The bed shook with Merlin’s laughter, and the last of his worries and fears were gone. “I mean it in the emotional sense,” Merlin promised.

“Okay, then, my heart is made up of you too.”

Eggsy kissed the sternum again. “What are you thinking?” he asked after a bit. He was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep.

“That if I move in here, we can turn my room into a second library. Think of all the books I can get!”

Eggsy snorted, and then began to giggle. He rolled on top of Merlin and pummeled him with a pillow. “You already have a whole room, and everywhere else in the house!”

Merlin took the pillow away easy and Eggsy let the man roll them so he was on top. “What do I have to do to get an extra book room?” 

“At least one thousand kisses,” Eggsy declared. Merlin’s face was impossibly close. He could see his eyes moving, their perfect lack of humanity.

“Then I should get started,” Merlin leaned down and brushed his lips against Eggsy’s.

Eggsy smiled up into the kiss, and knew Merlin would keep an exact count. He wondered how long until they had to make a trip for more bookshelves. He stopped wondering quickly though, because kisses two through seven were very distracting.


End file.
